Butcher Boy
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BUTCHER BOY-B-16-SAW Bandsaw Meat B16 CARNICERIA Deli $1,499.99 |
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The Butcher’s Boy NEW by Thomas Perry $29.13 |
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PB Perry: Butcher’s Boy. Award winner: Edgar [Best First Mystery] 1983 118139 $6.59 |
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PB Perry: Butcher’s Boy. Award winner: Edgar [Best First Mystery] 1983 173547 $10.98 |
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PB Perry: Butcher’s Boy. Award winner: Edgar [Best First Mystery] 1983 210027 $15.37 |
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HATMASTA LOT #36 Jennifer Blood & Butcher Baker The Boys 1-6 AND MORE Stitched $19.99 |
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BUTCHER BOY HELPING HANDS NEW CD $24.41 |
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LASAR Butcher Boy SA20-F Meat & Bone Band Saw 3HP 3-Phase 230V Stainless $1,399.99 |
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BUTCHER BOY Imperial / Juicy Fruit LTD (500) 7″ Vinyl $7.89 |
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The Boys Volume 10: Butcher, Baker, Candlestickmaker TP by Garth Ennis NEW B5 $22.69 |
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Butcher Boy Meat Band Saw $500.00 |
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Movie Still Eamonn Owens, Stephen Rea THE BUTCHER BOY $6.00 |
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THE BUTCHER’S BOY- THOMAS PERRY – SIGNED – EDGAR WINNER – FREE SHIPPING !! $355.95 |
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c1894 Rare KNAUS print Victorian Butcher shop Boy Chase Dog Stolen Meat Joint $19.99 |
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*1ST EDITION*THE BUTCHER’S BOY~THOMAS PERRY $1,500.00 |
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SALLY TIMMS AND THE DRIFTING COWGIRLS butcher’s boy extended player 12″ 4 track $15.80 |
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SALLY TIMMS AND THE DRIFTING COWGIRLS butcher’s boy extended player 12″ 4 track $25.28 |
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P4992 Arthur Butcher postcard, Boy walks in Daffodils $20.00 |
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THE BOYS: BUTCHER, BAKER, CANDLESTICKMAKER #1-6 (2011) ENNIS, ROBERTSON, NM $23.99 |
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Butcher Boy – Helping Hands [12 TRACK ALBUM PROMO CD] $1.57 |
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Oh Ma Ma The Butcher Boy Rudy Vallee Rose Marie Cover 1938 $6.59 |
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Butcher Boy AU 52 Self Feeding Grinder Meat Grinder $7,500.00 |
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PONTYPRIDD RFC WELSH RUGBY HISTORY BOOK BUTCHERS ARMS BOYS HARRIS & EVANS WALES $14.22 |
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The Butcher Boy – Elliot Goldenthal OUT OF PRINT! $5.99 |
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First Class Shipping & FREE Tracking The Butcher Boy New DVD $1.99 |
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PB Perry: Butcher’s Boy. Award winner: Edgar [Best First Mystery] 1983 173547 $9.98 |
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PB Perry: Butcher’s Boy. Award winner: Edgar [Best First Mystery] 1983 210027 $13.97 |
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THE BUTCHER BOY 1997 [Neil Jordan] DVD NEW $9.90 |
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Mixed Lot 5 Precious Moments Tender Tail Cat Doll Sam Butcher Boy Eskmo Pillow $6.88 |
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BOYS: BUTCHER, BAKER, CANDLESTICKMAKER ISSUES # 3, 4, 5, LOT – 1st PRINT $10.99 |
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The Butcher Boy (DVD, 2007) $0.99 |
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KIRSTY MACCOLL caroline CD 4 track b/w irish cousin, new england and butcher boy $11.05 |
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THOMAS PERRY – “brilliantly plotted thriller” – THE BUTCHER’S BOY $5.91 |
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The Butcher Boy AC-3 WS Rare LaserDisc Rea Shaw Owens Drama $24.97 |
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The Boys Volume 10: Butcher, Baker, Candlestickmaker TP by Garth Ennis NEW B8 $23.89 |
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! FAST 2DAY UPS ! THE BOYS VOL 10 BUTCHER BAKER CANDLESTICKMAKER GARTH ENNIS DA $11.43 |
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ORIGINAL ITALIAN 1927 RUDY VALLEE OH MAMMA BUTCHER BOY SHEET MUSIC RETRO RARE $115.00 |
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c1894 Rare KNAUS print Victorian Butcher shop Boy Chase Dog Stolen Meat Joint $30.18 |
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soundtrack, The Butcher Boy CD, 15 tracks $14.85 |
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BUTCHER BOY – RARE 2012 TOUR POSTER – free p&p $7.89 |
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Precious Moments 1987 Ornament Lord, I’m Coming Home/Samuel Butcher/boy running $3.00 |
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1997 BUTCHER BOY starring Eamonn Owens & Stephen Rea Press Kit Photo $2.99 |
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Vtg Butcher Boy Cold Storage Door Co Catalog-Wood 1950 $8.98 |
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THOMAS PERRY_____ THE BUTCHER’S BOY____BRAND NEW $6.94 |
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BUTCHER BOY BRITISH QUAD 2/S MOVIE POSTER CULT $24.00 |
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The Butcher Boy-Elliot Goldenthal Soundtrack-1998 Geffen! $12.99 |
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DICK AND & PAPA CONTINO BUTCHER BOY / EL RANCH GRANDE ITALIAN SPANISH 45 RPM $3.99 |
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The Butcher’s Boy by Thomas Perry *SIGNED*FIRST EDITION* $850.00 |
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SMALL BOY DRESSED as BUTCHER with Knife and HANGING BEEF 1908 VINTAGE POSTCARD $9.95 |
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Butcher Boy #22 Meat Grinder Head Ring – New $99.00 |
Unwanted: An All Time Low Indeed
Unwanted.
An All Time Low Indeed.
Ignorance is bliss, and if you’re blissfully unaware of the existence of The Wanted then I envy you. You’ll be surprised to hear that they aren’t the latest American-teen emotional pop band. No, these kids are a humble boy band.
The problem I have with this ‘band’ is simple: they represent everything that’s wrong with music. Everything about them is wrong. Take the name for example; The Wanted. This conjures up images of riots, ruffians and rebels, but the only thing these kids are rebelling against is musical decency. This group isn’t wanted. They’re unwanted. Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden is wanted, and although their crimes come close to that of the bearded bedlamite, constantly piloting their metaphorical planes toward my radio or television, hoping to bring down my empire unless I can find the remote quick enough to deter them, they’re not nearly as sought after by the FBI. And you haven’t made it until you’re on that Bureau list.
Now I may be wrong, but I seriously doubt these lads were all childhood friends who grew up together with the dream of one day becoming a pop sensation. I imagine record producers stoically sifted through hundreds of young boys like some sort of horrifying paedophilic pop-culture butcher’s shop, where he finally found the five most generically pretty and vocally unimpressive slabs of meat the UK had to offer. Tom, Siva, Max, Jay and Nathan. I disliked them before I even read their profiles. Seriously, go on to the website and look. They come across as more two-dimensional than Super Paper Mario. Siva for example, his hometown is Ireland. I’ve been. It’s lovely, certainly not a town though. Despite this, Max does exhibit some deep characteristics; He hates it when he comes into contact with dry sponge. Weirdo. Between them their favourite foods range from Dominos, full english, brownies and Errrrrm, pizza, chips, cheese toasties. And as for the music, well, their favourite bands are; Oasis, Coldplay and Boys II Men. Enough said. What happened to passion? What happened to talent? Having said that, not all artificially engineered bands are turn out bad, just look atThe Sex Pistols. But I’m fairly sure The Wanted won’t be arrested for boat tripping down the River Thames anytime soon. Though it’d damn funny if they were.
And I haven’t even got to the worst part yet; the music. I can usually tolerate things at either end of the musical spectrum. From the impossibly genius to the outright insulting. It’s the centre of this spectrum that sends me to despair. The grey area. And this? This is greyer than cumulonimbus over a rainy midland afternoon. This is woefully tame. It lies somewhere between tepid and lacklustre. It inspired such a sense of melancholy within me I could scarcely complete my sudoku puzzle. From the soppy synthetic strings to the toe-curling, flinching, cripplingly awful vocals, [seriously, have you ever heard anyone pronounce the word 'do' like he does?] everything about this is so dry, it left me feeling parched and grief-stricken.
I recognise the need for boy bands, I do honestly. And while they’re not my mug of hot, caffeinated beverage, I can tolerate the top contenders. Take That for example, when judged within their own realms they stand head and shoulders above the rest of the competition. Their series of epic and uplifting anthems do enough to stay even in my judgemental mind. Shine is a great pop track, even if I do hear it all too often accompanying images of fresh fish on a supermarket counter.
So there’s plenty of good boy-band-fish in the sea. But how is it that every time I go fishing in the mainstream, I invariably hook the musical equivalent of an old leather boot. It’s all too rare I cast my line and hook a chthonic sea serpent which I have to desperately wrestle to shore as it thrashes violently, trying to tear of my head and spit it into the water. That’s what I want. Not a metaphorically gruesome death at the hands of a mythical beast, but music with some substance. Some danger. Dare I say it, a bit of oomph.
Sometimes while casually perusing music channels at 5am [which I do far too regularly for it to be considered healthy] I come across an absolute gem. The other night, while pressing channel + and slingshotting maggots into the murky horizon, a musical monster surfaced. From 1997; Aqua – Doctor Jones. You laughed upon hearing the title didn’t you? You did so because it revokes memories, amusing memories. Memories of a happier time, a simpler time. Whenever I hear The Wanted – All Time Low, I imagine the year 2087. A fragile old man, sat on the porch of his suburban dwelling. His lungs less efficient than the world’s ecosystem. A land that has rotted to nothing. Everyone and everything had died as a result of a nuclear fallout. This man, whom for the purpose of this metaphor shall be named; Dave, is the only organism left on the planet. There is nothing. Nothing. And he is alone. That’s what this group does to me. They’re an obscure darkness. They’re a fatal experiment. They’re a post-apocalyptic landscape.
Every time I inadvertently come across something so inexplicably stale, I suddenly feel the need to repeatedly listen to Pantera – Fucking Hostile, to cleanse my broken palette. Just listen to their track; Heart Vacancy. It makes me wish I had a brain vacancy. Fucking. Fucking. Fucking. Hostile.
MacTingz
Article first published as The Wanted Are Very Unwanted on Technorati.
About the Author
I like writing things. I hope you like reading things. We’d make a great couple.
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The Butcher Boy Part 1